Today is Sunday, and this week’s Report contains my abbreviated notes on CrazySexyCool at Arena Stage, A Walk on the Moon at the Laura Pels Theatre, and Music City at St. Luke’s Theatre. Plus, a quote of the week; select press announcements from the past week; and the upcoming week’s previews and openings.

---

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

The lyric, by Al Dubin, for “My Dream of the Big Parade,” written circa 1926. The patriotic song, referencing World War I, was performed in vaudeville by the likes of Belle Baker, Blossom Seeley, and Sissle and Blake.

Last night I was dreaming of days that are gone,
Of days that you might recall,
And just like a photoplay upon my wall,
Once more I saw it all;
It was just a dream you see,
But how real it seemed to be.

I saw buddies true, marching two by two,
In my dream of the Big Parade.
I saw angels fair with the Red Cross there,
In my dream of the Big Parade.
I saw Gold Star mothers, sisters and brothers,
What a sacrifice they made;
I saw one legged pals coming home to their gals,
In my dream of the Big Parade.

I saw Château-Thierry all filled with marines,
I strolled by the river Seine,
I saw all the villages ‘mid fields of green,
In old Alsace-Lorraine;
And the mem’ry lingers yet,
They were scenes I can’t forget.

Spoken with chorus music under.
Millions of soldiers – millions of men
All going over – I see them again;
Oceans of water, submarines too,
Millions of sailors helping them through.
Millions of doughboys landing in Brest,
Marching and marching – never a rest;
Millions of bullets thundering past,
Millions of buddies wounded and gassed.
Valleys of ruins, mountains of mud,
Beautiful rivers, and rivers of blood;
Aeroplanes flying – bombs coming down,
Millions of cooties crawling around.
Pieces of shrapnel – pieces of shell,
Many a cross where somebody fell.
Fighting and fighting – a horrible war,
And God knows what you’re fighting it for.

Then came November – that Armistice Day
Out of a trench into a café,
Paddy and Abie and Jimmy and Jack
Over their bottles of wine and cognac
Telling their love tales to Jean and Georgette,
Little French girls they had to forget.
And then came the journey over the foam,
But all that went over, didn’t come home.

Sung.
I saw Gold Star mothers, sisters and brothers,
What a sacrifice they made;
I saw one legged pals coming home to their gals,
In my dream of the Big Parade.

---

CRAZYSEXYCOOL AT ARENA STAGE

CrazySexyCool, about the 1990s female singing group TLC, is currently playing a world premiere engagement at Arena Stage in Washington, DC. It has a book and direction by Kwame Kwei-Armah, and it is DOA, despite a reported development budget of $4.8 million. Bill Diggins, TLC’s manager of roughly thirty years, is the commercial producer, and his decision to move this flagrantly amateur affair into production is mindboggling.

The script, first and foremost, feels like a rough outline one might make when contemplating such a project, not a final draft prepared for the project’s pre-Broadway engagement. The script has nearly nothing in the way of characters or relationships, and it has nearly nothing in the way of continuity or connectivity. Nor, to be clear, does it consciously, deliberately operate like a scrapbook or a collage. (Such a means of operating might be exciting, if well done.) Plus, the treatment of the incidents is shallow, sketchy, anemic, sophomoric, insane. And the manner in which the piece has been constructed and composed makes one wonder if Kwei-Armah has ever written or seen a musical before making this one. Likewise the manner in which the piece has been staged.

The music arrangements and orchestrations, by David Holcenberg and Jaret Landon, are unremarkable, and several of the song-endings are amazingly poor. The choreography, by Chloe O. Davis, starts strong, with several early performance pieces carrying energy and interest, notwithstanding the circumstances in which the numbers reside and the numbers’ shapelessness as a result, but the choreography fairly quickly deteriorates, not quite to the subterranean depths of Kwei-Armah’s direction. (Let the record show that I sincerely hope Kwei-Armah does better in future.)

The physical production looks expensive, and it presumably is. The scenic design, by David Zinn, could be effective, but it is not, as presently exploited. The lighting design, by Japhy Weideman, and the projection design, by Peter Nigrini, fail to overcome the evident ineptitude of the show’s chief architect. The costumes, by Dede Ayite, are solid, even offering a hint of flavor and specificity. And the wigs, by Nikiya Mathis, are scrumptious – especially the wigs worn by the ladies of the ensemble.

Holli’ Gabrielle Conway, Jade Milan, and Stoney B. Woods are genuinely engaging as the three central figures, and so is Felicia Curry as their manager. These four actors in an entirely different TLC musical might be something to see.

---

A WALK ON THE MOON AT THE LAURA PELS THEATRE

A Walk on the Moon, a new musical based on the 1999 film, is currently playing an Off-Broadway engagement at the Laura Pels Theatre. It has a book and additional lyrics by Pamela Gray, lyrics and music by AnnMarie Milazzo, and direction by Sheryl Kaller, and it is cheap, tacky, bland, unskilled – a painfully third-rate affair – which has been in development for more than a decade. (Paul Scott Goodman was the original lyricist and composer.)

Beyond the superficial treatment of the story, Gray & Co. have, for instance, demonstrated little or no ability to setup and purpose songs. And look at the scenework, composition, structure, staging (which, in at least two instances, ignores the lyric), etc. “Mr. Armstrong” is a fine idea, poorly executed. “Ba Ba Ba Da (Fine)” is a fine idea, poorly executed. “Hey, Betty” has a fine title motif, when taken independently. And “Without You, Pearlie” has a fine echo motif, when taken independently. “Without You, Pearlie” has, as well, a neat light cue: two rectangular down specials, rather than simply sliding laterally, rotate, once, to land center when Pearl and Marty walk toward each other from their off-center positions. (Robert Wierzel is the designer.)

The scenic and video designs, by Tal Yarden, are god-awful. (Kaller must take part of the blame.) And the cast does not rise above the material and the staging. But Oscar Williams, as Ross, is intriguing, and might be one to watch.

---

MUSIC CITY AT ST. LUKE’S THEATRE

Music City recently opened a commercial Off-Broadway engagement at St. Luke’s Theatre. It has a book by Peter Zinn, (mostly preexisting) lyrics and music by JT Harding (mostly written in collaboration with Shane McAnally, Josh Osborne, Keith Urban, and others), and direction by Eric Tucker. The new musical was hugely promising – and in need of significant work – when seen at Bedlam’s West End Theatre in 2024. It is now near to being a trainwreck. Not only did Zinn & Co. fail to do the necessary work, they took the piece several steps backwards.

The fourth wall, for instance, is still cheaply and purposelessly broken. The actors still purposelessly and pretentiously walk around the immersive playing space, with their characters carrying on private conversations while standing roughly 20 feet apart, often in what is supposed to be a crowded Nashville bar. (The Wicked Tickle is, by design, ever-present.) And “Rewind” is still not the knockout it should be, because Zinn & Co. still have not detailed and defined certain moments in the show, still have not crafted the show with rigor, and, relatedly, because Zinn & Co. are still, here and elsewhere, deviating from their own incredibly smart conceit, whereby the songs are employed as songs, typically performed by the characters, within the context of the story, at the Wicked Tickle, courtesy of an open mic.

The score, for the record, is composed of patently untheatrical radio edits, but many of the radio edits, miraculously and excitingly, carry real dramatic weight, actively deepening characters and relationships, specifically because of the thematic and narrative content of the lyrics (coupled with the minor story-inspired adjustments to some of the same), the incredibly fine recording-studio writing, and the shrewd manner in which the songs are, in principle, being employed. Zinn & Co.’s deviations from the song-as-song conceit are unproductive, unessential, nondefinitive, destructive.

“My Masterpiece” is still senseless. “Alone with You” is still inactive, useless. “Sober as a Drunk” is still undefined. “Sangria” is still not effectively serving the moment. The sudden use of microphones as telephones is still suspect. The occasional use of actors as musicians is still a hindrance, a detractor. (The orchestrations, by Julianne B. Merrill and PJ Ju, are still strong.) Some of the scenework – and the story – is still undernourished. Stucky still disappears in the second act. 23 still schedules a writing session at the same time she is meant to be cleaning houses. “Somewhere with You” is still not the knockout it should be, and “For This Town” is still not the knockout it should be, because Zinn & Co. still have not found – perhaps even sought – a clean, sharp way of getting into and out of the fantasy. “Smile” is no longer a sparkler, because of replacement casting. And an interlude sung by Bakerman and a recall montage in pantomime are abysmal.

The staging has gotten exponentially worse, to the point of being horrific, and it is calling additional attention to the continued incompleteness of the potentially thrilling and dynamic composition. The choreography, by John Heginbotham, is still amateurish, though two extraneous dancers have been profitably eliminated from the cast. And the cast is still less than stellar, still excepting Stephen Michael Spencer. (Lauren LOLO Pritchard replaced Casey Shuler at the last minute.)

Gabrielle Palitz is producing the reportedly $1.8 million affair.

---

PRESS ANNOUNCEMENTS

Here is a list of select press announcements from the past week. Each headline is clickable for more information.

• Producer Rose Caiola to Open New 199-Seat Off-Broadway Theater at Lincoln Center
• Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody Extends for Second Time Off-Broadway
• Upcoming Dirty Dancing National Tour Finds Full Casting

---

PREVIEWS AND OPENINGS

Here is a list of the new musicals and revivals either opening or beginning previews during the upcoming week, specifically on Broadway and Off-Broadway. It contains, as well, select new musicals beginning performances regionally, and select new musicals and revivals beginning performances in New York City. Each title is clickable for more information.

Monday, July 6

Tuesday, July 7

Wednesday, July 8

Thursday, July 9

Friday, July 10
• Opening: Giulia

Saturday, July 11

Sunday, July 12

Photo of a scene from CrazySexyCool by Julieta Cervantes.