Today is Sunday, and this week’s Report contains my abbreviated notes on Slam Frank at the Orpheum Theatre, Dirty Dancing at the National Theatre, and Paris is Magique at Théâtre Gaîté Rive Gauche. Plus, a quote of the week; select press announcements from the past week; and the upcoming week’s previews and openings. Note: I am in the midst of writing a new book, so my notes on this fall’s productions are likely to be uncharacteristically brief.

---

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Three Episodes of Life,” a sequence of three blackout sketches, from the 1925 revue Artists and Models: Paris Edition. The sequence is presumably the work of sketch writer and lyricist Harold Atteridge.

Announcer. Ladies and gentlemen, modern playwrights do not write of the actual happenings of life. They fashion their plays to suit the tastes of their audience. But there is more action in the bedroom of any apartment in any city than there is in a dozen of their plays. We will now show the drama that takes place in any bedroom of any apartment hotel, if you will come and look through the keyhole.

A Mistake.

Girl. Who are you?
Man. Oh, I beg pardon, who are you?
Girl. What business is that of yours? This is my room.
Man. I beg pardon, this is my room.
Girl. Leave my room at once or I will have you thrown out of the hotel.
Man. What? You can’t have me thrown out of the hotel for being in my own room.
Girl. But this is my room.
Man. Pardon me, this is my room.
Girl. You go at once, or I will have you arrested – you liar.
Man. Just a minute. I hope I’m a gentleman, and if I am in the wrong, I am always willing to admit it. But there is no necessity for you to call me a liar.
Girl. Oh, I’ve heard all about men like you who come sneaking into rooms, you liar.
Man. Just a minute, you can be as abusive as you like, but my dear young lady, please don’t call me a liar.
Girl. Very well, I’m sorry. Will you please leave my room?
Man. Oh, that’s different. If you speak to me civilly, I’ll go. I’ve given you no reason to call me a liar. (Putting on coat and vest.) That’s just the one thing I won’t stand. I have the reputation of being a pretty fair-minded sort of fellow. I’ll do anything for a person if they’re civil to me. You spoke to me like a lady, and I’m going. I never would have left this room had you continued to call me a liar.
Girl. (Admiring for his last speech coyly says.) You’re a liar.
(Man starts to take his hat and coat off. Blackout.)

Fear.

(Time: Night. The room is empty when the curtains open. A girl comes into the room carrying a lighted candle. She is followed by a carpenter.)
Nancy. Aunt Caroline didn’t like the idea of a man being in her bedroom.
Jack. I’ve known your Aunt for years.
Nancy. Just the same, she is prim and terribly old fashioned.
Jack. There now, I fixed the light.
(He switches on the light.)
Nancy. You know, Aunt Caroline is so nervous that there might be a man hiding under her bed, that every night when she comes in, I switch on the light. She goes around to that side of the bed, and I stand here. Then I take this ball. (Gets large rubber ball from wardrobe.) And roll it to her under the bed. If it comes out all right on her side, she knows there is no one there, but I have to wait until she’s had a look to make sure.
Jack. Suppose one night she would find a man under her bed.
Nancy. It’s all arranged that she shall go to the window and scream while I take this revolver. (Takes revolver out of wardrobe.) Point it at the man and say, “Move and I fire.” I often wish there might be a man. One gets tired of doing this night after night.
Jack. When will she be coming to bed?
Nancy. Directly after you’ve gone, and you better go now.
Jack. All right, then I have gone. Goodnight.
(He goes under the bed.)
Nancy. Why Jack Wainwright, what are you doing?
Jack. Tonight you’re going to find the man under the bed.
Nancy. But – but –
Jack. You said you wanted it.
Nancy. Oh, I didn’t really mean it. She’ll be horrified. Think of the shock. She’s nearly fifty.
Aunt. (Offstage.) Oh Nancy.
Nancy. There she is now. Yes, Auntie. (Enter Miss Caroline, a spinster lady of fifty. Nancy switches off lights then on again.) Jack fixed the lights.
Aunt. How very clever of him. It’s not often that these handsome young men have any brains. Queer, his running off without saying goodnight. Have you got the h’m h’m. (Nancy gets the ball and revolver. Miss Caroline goes to other side of bed.) Now dear if you are ready. (Nancy rolls ball. It does not come out immediately.) Have you rolled it?
Nancy. Yes, Aunt Caroline. Hasn’t it come out on your side?
(Jack throws ball out.)
Aunt. Here it is now. Just one minute until I’ve looked. (Nancy hiding her grin waits. Miss Caroline bends down. Lifts up valence of bed. Jack invisible. Miss Caroline drops valence, making no sign and walks over to Nancy.) And now dear, you may go. (Blackout.)

Nerve.

Mrs. Lyons. Who’s there?
Burglar. Be quiet or I’ll blow your brains out.
Mrs. Lyons. What do you want?
Burglar. Nothing, Mrs. Percy Lyons. You see, I know who you are, and I know of your husband. I’m merely robbing the apartment.
Mrs. Lyons. So you know that I’m Mrs. Percy Lyons. You must have studied it out pretty well. What have you taken, my pearl necklace?
Burglar. Yes, your pearl necklace.
Mrs. Lyons. Don’t keep pointing that gun on me.
Burglar. Don’t worry, it isn’t loaded. A burglar would be a fool to carry a loaded gun around nowadays. It might go off accidentally and kill someone.
Mrs. Lyons. You’ve got some nerve. Put my pearls back or I’ll scream.
Burglar. No, Mrs. Percy Lyons, you won’t scream. Your husband isn’t here and I’m a very modern burglar. If you scream for the police, I’ll take off my hat and vest, and what would your husband say?
Mrs. Lyons. Help Murder Police Etc.
Burglar. Alright, take the consequences. (Takes off coat and vest and makes ready to go into bed.) Now I’m going to get in bed with you.
Mrs. Lyons. Wait. Stop. Just a minute. (To lover hidden under covers.) Move over, this man wants to get in bed. (Blackout.)

---

SLAM FRANK AT THE ORPHEUM THEATRE

Slam Frank opens a nonunion Off-Broadway engagement this evening at the Orpheum Theatre, after previously having been seen at AsylumNYC. “The Anne-Frank Afro-Latin Hip-Hop Musical” has a book by Joel Sinensky, lyrics and music by Andrew Fox, and direction by Sam LaFrage, and it finds a regional theatre troupe presenting the plight of Anne Frank and her family through an ultraprogressive lens, reimagining the historically Jewish figures as Latina, nonbinary, neurodivergent, etc. Despite several fine ideas, several sharply synchronized compositional light and sound cues, several tasteful projections and (from a technical standpoint) video interludes, and several solid lines of dialogue, the socio-political satire has, at present, only one moment that is, as a whole, even moderately well done: “Yeast of Edith,” a purposefully overwrought feminist slam poem, performed by the Black actor playing Anne Frank’s mother, and accented with raps on an African drum. But the poem’s setup highlights a couple of larger, fundamental issues with the confused, juvenile entertainment, and the indulgent, unclean staging, principally of the poem’s finish, is sabotaging the poem’s dynamite button. For the record, Slam Frank has, in its move to a larger venue, acquired a new choreographer, a new scenic designer, a new lighting designer, a new(ish) video and projection designer, a new sound designer, and a new prop designer, and the production is not as sloppy as it once was.

---

DIRTY DANCING AT THE NATIONAL THEATRE

Dirty Dancing, a stage adaptation of the 1987 film, is currently playing a national tour with an eye toward Broadway. The musical concludes an engagement at the National Theatre in Washington, DC this evening. It has a book by original screenwriter Eleanor Bergstein and direction by Lonny Price, and it is impossibly bad, impossibly inept. One of the biggest missed opportunities – and one of the most embarrassing moments – is surely the extended sequence in which the female lead learns how to dance. Wow.

---

PARIS IS MAGIQUE AT THÉÂTRE GAÎTÉ RIVE GAUCHE

Paris is Magique, a new French musical comedy, is currently running at Théâtre Gaîté Rive Gauche in Paris. It has a book, lyrics, and direction by Sacha Judaszko and Nicolas Nebot and music by Dominique Mattei, and it is an underdone, inexpert affair, made by individuals who evidently distrust, dislike, and or misunderstand the musical stage. (Why the tired digs?) But the piece has structural elements, compositional tendencies, and comic devices and sensibilities that, in principle, excite: a multi-floor-walk-up sequence underscored with Latin elevator music; a pair of blackout interludes featuring a pair of pigeon puppets; a construction-worker interlude; a street-noise bit; a third-party romantic-translation bit; a miscommunication bit studded with a repeated exclamation, delivered the third time by a different character; a breakaway song sung by a character not centered in the preceding scene; and so forth, with several scenes operating, in principle, like integrated sketches. Paris is Magique made me long for an honest-to-goodness musical comedy that is well done, sporting a revuesque design, with variety and juxtaposition, and unabashedly, skillfully integrating gags and clowning and crosstalk and burlesque. Judaszko, Nebot, and Mattei might be capable of writing one – if they approach the task with rigor and gravity and care. And perhaps a greater appreciation for the art form and the craft.

---

PRESS ANNOUNCEMENTS

Here is a list of select press announcements from the past week. Each headline is clickable for more information.

• Neil Patrick Harris, Julianne Hough, & Austin Scott Will Lead Damn Yankees on Broadway
• The Apple Boys to Premiere Off-Broadway at the Duke on 42nd Street
• Ato Blankson-Wood to Replace Wayne Brady in Ms. Blakk for President
• Spring Awakening Revival Extends Off-Broadway Ahead of Opening
• Schele Williams, Kristoffer Diaz, and Jason Michael Webb Join Nas in Beat Street Creative Team
• Broadway Dolly Musical Finds Its Dollys
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Extends at the Public
• Jessica Vosk, Michael Luwoye, and More Join Imitation of Life Off-Broadway
• Saycon Sengbloh, Ty Taylor, Britton Smith Will Lead Passing Strange at Pasadena Playhouse
• Mare Winningham & More Join Madeline Brewer in Wild Rose at NYTW
• Matthew Morrison Will Return to Just in Time on Broadway
• See Who’s Joining Chadwick Stokes in World Premiere Rock Opera 1972
• Internet Jazz Singing Sensation Stella Cole Will Be Gil Brentley in Broadway’s Maybe Happy Ending; Hear Her “Why Love”
• Tiler Peck, Julian Ovenden Will Lead Ahrens and Flaherty’s Little Dancer in London’s West End

---

PREVIEWS AND OPENINGS

Here is a list of the new musicals and revivals either opening or beginning previews during the upcoming week, specifically on Broadway and Off-Broadway. It contains, as well, select new musicals beginning performances regionally, and select new musicals and revivals beginning performances in New York City. Each title is clickable for more information.

Monday, October 5
• Opening: Soon

Tuesday, October 6

Wednesday, October 7
• Regional: A Beat of Our Own

Thursday, October 8
• Previews: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
• Previews: The Heart

Friday, October 9

Saturday, October 10

Sunday, October 11

Photo of Austen Horne in Slam Frank by Shawn Salley.