Today is Sunday, and this week’s abbreviated Report contains “Decrying Ticket Prices: Perpetual Hot Air?” Plus, a quote of the week; select press announcements from the past week; and the upcoming week’s previews and openings.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK

The dialogue and lyrics for “Miss Dooley & Mr. Brown,” from the third edition of The Greenwich Village Follies (1921). This specialty item was written expressly for comedians Gordon Dooley and Joe E. Brown, both of whom joined the cast post-opening as part of the revue’s extensive revamp. The lyrics are credited to Eddie Dowling and Raymond W. Klages.

(Walking business and flirtation before Dooley and Brown sing.)

Brown: Good evening, Miss Dooley.
Dooley: Good evening, Mr. Brown.
Brown: How do you feel, Miss Dooley?
Dooley: Pretty good, Mr. Brown.
Brown: I’m awfully glad I found you; and I’m going to stick around you.
Dooley: Well, I’ll confess; that you’re an awful mess.
Brown: Thank you, Miss Dooley.
Dooley: You’re welcome, Mr. Brown.

(Music break.)

Brown: Let’s take a walk.
Dooley: So we can have a little talk.
Brown: Gee, I know a little spot.
Dooley: It must be an empty lot.
Brown: It’s nice and quiet.
Dooley: You and I can start a riot.
Brown: It’s a place where we can hide.
Dooley: Will your conscience be your guide?
Brown: Absolutely, Miss Dooley.
Dooley: That’s lovely, Mr. Brown.

(Music break.)

Brown: It’s a place that you’ll adore.
Dooley: Is there sawdust on the floor?
Brown: Are you nervous, Miss Dooley?
Dooley: Only timid, Mr. Brown.

(Music out. Dooley and Brown speak.)

Dooley: Say, were you following me?
Brown: No!
Dooley: Oh, I’m so disappointed. (Brown starts to walk away laughing.) One moment young man.
Brown: Don’t bother me I’m a business man.
Dooley: You don’t walk like a business man.
Brown: But you don’t know my business.
Dooley: No, but I would love to.
Brown: I’m a salesman of battleships.
Dooley: Battleships? I simply love the water. (Does fall.)
Brown: Throw out your anchor, you’re drifting. Miss Dooley?
Dooley: Yes!
Brown: How about a little stroll?
Dooley: I’ll go anyplace but under the boardwalk.
Brown: Why not under the boardwalk?
Dooley: Didn’t you hear about Old Man Jones?
Brown: Old Man Jones?
Dooley: Yes. He caught his wife under the boardwalk last night with another man and killed them both.
Brown: Killed them both? Well, that’s too bad.
Dooley: Yes.
Brown: But it could have been worse.
Dooley: How so?
Brown: I was there the night before.
Both: You fool.

Dooley: Do you know I feel as though I can confide in you.
Brown: Why?
Dooley: Because you have such an honest face. See this. (Pulls out paper.) It is a copy of the matrimonial news.
Brown: Matrimonial news?
Dooley: Yes, it’s the love route between two hungry yearning hearts. I’ve corresponded through it with my soul mate.
Brown: What does the party of the second part say fair creature?
Dooley: It’s for his ears alone. (Pulls out photograph.) I’m sending him one of my photographs. See this? (Ad lib and business of looking at photograph.)
Brown: What kind of a fish is this?
Dooley: Fish? That’s my photograph.
Brown: Yes? It doesn’t look a bit like you.
Dooley: Oh, I was busy that day so I sent my sister to pose for me.
Brown: So you’re sending this to your fiancé?
Dooley: Yes, I wish to surprise him.
Brown: Surprise is not the word. You’ll kill him. Miss Dooley? So you’re not married?
Dooley: No! I’m a grass widow.
Brown: Oh for a lawn mower I’d run you down. (Ad lib and Dooley business.) Children?
Dooley: 16.
Brown: 19?
Dooley: No, sixteen.
Brown: Pardon, my mistake.
Dooley: No, my mistake.
Both: You fool.

Brown: Say, Miss Dooley, will you marry me?
Dooley: Oh this is so sudden.
Brown: Come on, let’s get married. (Slapping and hat business.) Miss Dooley! You know your love for me is like a rushing brook.
Dooley: Dam it!

(Music in. Dooley and Brown sing.)

Brown: Let’s take a walk; we can have a little talk.
Dooley: Come and share my little hut.
Brown: I think that you’re a nut.
Dooley: When we are wedded.
Brown: You’ll wish that you were deaded.
Dooley: Will you take me for your wife?
Brown: We will fight our way through life.
Dooley: Are you very fond of children?
Brown: When they don’t belong to me; we’ll go on our honeymoon.
Dooley: It will be a road to ruin.
Brown: Oh, you thrill me, Miss Dooley.
Dooley: You kill me, Mr. Brown.

(Dance.)

Brown: But suppose that I get rough?
Dooley: Then I’ll soak you with my muff.
Brown: Then I’ll be careful, Miss Dooley.
Dooley: You had better, Mr. Brown.

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DECRYING TICKET PRICES: PERPETUAL HOT AIR?

On December 31, 1925, a smattering of Broadway musicals charged a top ticket price of $11 – a current value of roughly $205.

On June 22, 1926, the premiere of George White’s Scandals charged a top ticket price of $50 – a current value of roughly $1,040.

On August 24, 1926, the premiere of Earl Carroll Vanities charged a top ticket price of $100 – a current value of roughly $1,925.

And, by October 1926, a smattering of Broadway musicals were charging a regular top of $6.60 – a current value of roughly $125.

Most new musicals were charging at regular top of $6.60 two years later. “Theory of managers,” Variety reported, “is that if the attraction clicks the price doesn’t matter for the first three or four months.”

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PRESS ANNOUNCEMENTS

Here is a list of select press announcements from the past week. Each headline is clickable for more information.

• Billy Porter, Jessica Vosk, and Billy Zane Will Lead Bill Pay The Musical for One Night Only on Broadway
• Adrienne Warren Will Lead Imitation of Life Off-Broadway
• & Juliet to Close on Broadway in January
• Michael John LaChiusa Musical Beautiful Jolie Gabor Sets Off-Broadway World Premiere
• Madeline Brewer Signs on to Lead Wild Rose Musical Off-Broadway
• Gina Torres to Star in Buena Vista Social Club on Broadway
• Heathers The Musical to Play Final Performance in October
• Shuffle Along Adds Second Concert Performance at Lincoln Center
• Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody Recoups Investment and Extends a Third Time
• Rags Adds Second Benefit Performance at Classic Stage Company
• Ciarán Hinds, Tracy Letts, Eight World Premieres and More Set for National Theatre’s 2027 Season
• Schmigadoon! Extends on Broadway Through April 2027
• André De Shields Will Join Taylor Mac’s Bark of Millions at the Public Theater
• Going Bacharach Finds Full Casting for Off-Broadway Return
• Jackie Hoffman, More Set for Yiddish Pirates of Penzance at Symphony Space

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PREVIEWS AND OPENINGS

Here is a list of the new musicals and revivals either opening or beginning previews during the upcoming week, specifically on Broadway and Off-Broadway. It contains, as well, select new musicals beginning performances regionally, and select new musicals and revivals beginning performances in New York City. Each title is clickable for more information.

Monday, September 14

Tuesday, September 15
• Previews: How Shakespeare Saved My Life

Wednesday, September 16

Thursday, September 17
• Previews: Midnight
• Previews: Slam Frank
• NYC: Broke
• NYC: Sound Mind
• NYC: Spandex

Friday, September 18
• Concert: Songs from Bark of Millions

Saturday, September 19

Sunday, September 20

Photo of a rehearsal for Shuffle Along, or The Making of the Musical Sensation of 1921 and All That Followed by Julieta Cervantes.